Marquila Turner is a mother of 3, including a 12-year-old daughter and her 2 sons in Heaven. She lost her sons at birth to Autosomal Recessive Polycystic Kidney Disease (ARPKD), which drove her to become the founder of Quila’s Angels. This organization is a 501 (c)(3) organization that provides comfort and emotional support to bereaved mothers by providing care boxes to hospitals throughout the Dallas-Fort Worth area. I’m excited that she decided to sit down for a conversation about the nonprofit world and where she wants to take Quila’s Angels through the new year.
Were you working with nonprofit organizations before the creation of Quila’s Angels?
I had zero nonprofit experience before tackling the idea of Quila’s Angels. Quila’s Angels are based on my sons that are in Heaven. Eric JR and Cameron passed away at birth due to ARPKD, which is a genetic disease that affects the baby’s kidneys and liver. After my second son passed away in 2018, I was deep down in depression and was contacted by the actual PKD Foundation- North Texas Chapter. I did a fundraiser with this organization and I decided to join their walk. Betsy, one of the coordinators of the PKD foundation- North Texas Chapter, reached out to me and asked if I could share my story as a highlight for the entire walk. I agreed and had my story placed in the Southlake Magazine. The feedback that I got from it was amazing and people mentioned that it was like their stories about how they lost a child due to ARPKD. This positive feedback encouraged me to create a platform where mothers who have lost a child can share their stories. They can have this environment where they can be themselves without saying trigger warnings because. When you go on social media now, you must put trigger warnings to talk about your child that died and that’s something that I had an issue with. I believe our babies matter as well, even though they’re in heaven. Quila’s Angels became a nonprofit organization in May 2020 and that’s where I decided to donate care boxes to hospitals in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. We have worked with Medical City Dallas, Medical City Las Colinas, Baylor Scott, and many other facilities. The reason why I decided to do those care boxes was because when you leave the hospital with empty arms, all you have is that care box that the hospital gives you of your baby. There were two care boxes and it gave me so much joy because that’s all I had. The box contained the book that I read to him while I gave him a bath. They even cut a piece of his hair because I kept saying his hair was so beautiful and the nurse paid attention. We’re not able to bring our babies home, but it’s something that would bring a lot of family’s comfort, knowing that they have these memories of their babies. That’s the reason why I give back to hospitals in the DFW Metroplex.
Did you learn anything about event planning in your previous brunch events that hosted other speakers with similar stories?
I’m not sure if I’m going to do a 2022 brunch, because I want to do a remembrance walk and think it would be more inclusive to everyone dealing with losses. The Angel Moms’ Brunch is something I created back in 2018, before I was even an organization yet. And it was something to give back to the moms for Mother’s Day because I know I feel down on Mother’s Day when I’m not able to have my sons here to celebrate being a mother. I created this brunch to be able to say, we are still mothers to our babies in Heaven and we deserve to be celebrated as well. I created that to give back to moms out here to be able to just network with other moms because when you go through this type of trauma, you need that support system. I want me and my organization to be that support system for moms in the Dallas-Fort Worth area to come to. This past brunch was amazing, and I had Tiffany in New York and Nakeisha in Florida, so it was just amazing to have women who have dealt with losses or infertility to be able to speak at my brunch. I learned a lot about infertility and filicide, which is when a parent kills their own child. That’s what Nakeisha’s story was, she was dealing with filicide where the father killed her son. I’m just thinking about having the walk because I want everybody to come out. Mothers, fathers, grandparents, cousins, and everyone else can come out and walk and be able to remember their baby at once.
Are there any negative stigmas attached to infertility and is there a lot of funding behind ARPKD?
There’s a lot of negativity surrounding this idea. People ask, “why do you have to go to a fertility clinic?” I get sad for any other mothers who hear these comments, because it’s like you can’t tell someone else what to do. I have a genetic disease and if I decide to have another child, I must get the father tested. The actual PKD foundation, they have chapters everywhere. I believe they have three chapters in Texas alone. I know I’m a part of the Austin Chapter and the North Texas Chapter. I have not been to the San Antonio Chapter, but I have heard about them. They do fundraiser events every year to raise funds and to find a cure for PKD. They have walks, but due to the COVID-19 pandemic, we have been doing everything virtual. I pray that next year we can all come together, and we are able to walk for PKD and to be able to find a cure for it.
Were there any key lessons from the launch of the PIL Awards?
I’m super excited about that project. That’s something I created in early 2020 and was at home thinking about my healing journey. I was contemplating how there are so many women, so many organizations, and so many support groups in the PIL community. I decided right then that I wanted to do something to give back to these women because they don’t know how much they have helped me in my journey. I have setbacks as well still to this day, but the amazing women on my social media still provide positive posts that keep me moving forward. Even when I don’t feel like I want to keep going or I want to just sit in bed and cry, they let me know that it’s okay to have those feelings. Because they’re going through a loss of a child or infertility, but they still pick up and support others while they’re going through the same thing. The PIL awards is just amazing and we’re doing it now. I’m putting together the nominations and things like that now, and we will have it all put together next year. It will be virtual. I’m hoping in 2023 to have it in person and trying to find the right time to be able to bring everybody together at once. It will be virtual and it’s just to give awards to women, nonprofit organizations, and support groups for just being so supportive.
Were they any previous winners in those award shows that you wanted to mention?
Yes, there were seven winners. I know Alicia, she won the “most inspirational Angel mama” award. The best podcast award was given to the “Sisters in Loss”, a platform that does an absolutely great job at letting women of color tell their stories about loss and infertility. I featured the Keys of Hope, which was the “nonprofit organization of the year” award winner and continues to be a stable platform in the community. They have been doing an absolutely great job giving back to families and mothers who have lost a child. The “blogger of the year” was Ebony, she does a great job just blogging and telling her truth about grief and healing after loss. I will just say congratulations to all of them. I think the Pregnancy After Loss support group is simply amazing at supporting angel moms and women who are pregnant after a previous loss. It’s just such a tragic community because we must come together after losing a child. I wouldn’t want to be in this community, but I’m glad to have this group of people in this community to be able to help us find joy again. To be able to get that comfort that we need to be able to be in our healing journey. I am so grateful and thankful for everybody that’s in the PIL and infertility community for helping me in my journey because I’m still going through my healing journey as well. There’s one project I’m super excited about and I just want to see it grow as we continue to do it and the Angel Mom’s Brunch that we do in starting a remembrance walk and everything, I want to see all that grow. I also want to mention another project that we do which is the Sisterhood of Angel Mama’s, which is an online and print magazine that I have created for moms to be able to share their stories.
Are there any other upcoming projects you’re excited about?
Yes. I have a project that features moms just sharing their stories. I’m going to give you a glimpse of one of the stories. Issue 1, for example, basically gives your stories of black women and their infant mortality experiences. It just raises awareness of pregnancy and infant loss and just the mortality rates within the local area. It has given moms a platform to just speak their truth and be able to share their babies without any negativity. But I’m super excited because they go to the hospital when I donate my care boxes. So, their stories are being read by hundreds of people in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and thousands online.
